Live life to the fullest, enjoy every waking moment!

I am at the flybe lounge in Manchester, UK after a very precious journey to England.  I spent the weekend with John Ellison from CAC Climbers Against Cancer.   I find it very difficult at the moment to find the right words that match my emotions other than it was the most moving, fun, and touching trip I have had in a very long time.   This is a trip that I will hold dear to my heart forever.

Soon I will be posting on my blog an interview with John, but in the meantime, I feel like I needed to post something from my heart expressing my sincerest gratitude to John for being the ‘hostest with the mostest’ (heehee) as he accommodated having me for a weekend, following him around, asking him questions, taking random pictures at any moment, and so on.  I just want to help raise awareness like many others do as well, but I realize that having someone around in your face experiencing life with you can drain someone’s energy, but John so passionate about his life and CAC and would have it no other way, that is just who he is, an amazing person all around.

John, the most awesome friend anyone can have!

How did I find CAC?  Like everyone else, I saw all these folks on Facebook wearing colorful t-shirts and then a pro-climber messaged me to check it out, like the page and get a t-shirt.  I had to find out more about this organization.  Let me tell you why.  Years ago, when I was married, my late mother-in-law was diagnosed with advanced non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.  With 6 months to live or less, I deferred 2 semesters of college to help take care of her.  Now mind me, my precious sister-in-law moved back home and made the full sacrifice of taking care of her mom 24/7.  The last time I saw my late mom-in-law she asked me to take her to the beach.  We did. By that time I knew I would be working in research and she asked me if I could do anything, even if it only touched a dent in the progress of technology, how would it sound if I dedicated my life to cancer research.  At the moment I knew exactly my calling, and I agreed that that is exactly what I would do.  15 years later, my heart is in my work, not a moment goes by I do not think about the patients in my clinical trials.  It is what moves me to do my job and travel like crazy.  Anyhow, a few years after I divorced, I found this cool thing called CLIMBING!  Then a few years later I run into CAC.  Now with that background….

Fun Moments = Roman fountains closed….but not for climbers like us!

I emailed John just to get a little feel of what the organization was about and asking him how I could help.  Then after messages back and forth, I did the inevitable.  I asked him how he would feel if I flew all the way from the US to interview him and get to know more about him and CAC?  I think he was taken by surprised but immediately responded yes ma’am.  In chatting back and forth I got the sense of how wonderful of a guy he is, in fact I expected a really awesome weekend.  Well…..it exceeded my already high expectations. See John is quite an angel, I cannot explain it, but he really is a gem, so precious, yet so beautiful.  John has terminal cancer and he wants to spend every possible moment raising awareness and giving back by raising funds to help further cancer research.  I literally felt his passion over the internet, but in person, it is beyond radiating and his energy is so positive.  Every moment was a precious moment; I cannot explain it any other way other than precious.  You know when you climb to the top of a beautiful line and the view is breathtaking that you have no words that best express the beauty of it all because it just is breathtaking….that is how I felt the whole weekend.

Anyhow, I just needed to reflect on a few things I learned this weekend from John.  But one major tune John made sure I knew was….enjoy every waking moment of your life, and appreciate everything, the big and the small details.  And that I promised myself I would do my best to do from now on.

Friendships like these are precious!

While I write up the interview, please take the time to:

• ‘Like’ CAC Climbers Against Cancer Facebook page
• Spread the word to your friends and family
• Buy a T-shirt and wear it with pride (www.climbersagainstcancer.org)

Now off to Spain to Train, if I can secure a dongle (internet), then I will make sure to make several posts next week on my progress of getting back out to my Spain and after my finger injury.

Despite my frustration the past 6 months, one of many reasons the journey is worth it.

Growing up I was an elite gymnast and was accustomed to pushing myself, working out long hours and luckily, I was a natural. I performed well and won a lot.  Climbing on the other hand, is a sport I learned much later in life. In my journey, I am finding out I have limitations and I am not ‘immortal’.

Me struggling on a climb I have sent easily in the past.

As of recent, these past 6 months, I was challenged with my finger injury and just as I am now beginning to take it to the next level, I woke up Thursday in a funky position and my knee is hurt.  Not sure how it happened, but the reality is, after cragging Saturday, I had to without choice stay home Sunday and rest it.

It definitely has been a frustrating journey these past 6 months.   The first climb I got on yesterday was an 11a, b or c (honestly can’t remember!), but in no way did I get it clean. And the toughest sequence, I was able to prove to myself I could lead into it, but backed down and went right to pass it.  The whole climb up I was focused on proving to myself how much of it could I piece together and how little could I struggle, and boy it was a struggle.   When I came down, my dear friend whom I love so very much basically told me she really did not care how well I climbed, but only cared that I was happy and that I too should just be happy I was out climbing and stop being so hard on myself.  I realized at that moment that she was right.

My rope on the climb my precious friend sent, watching her achieve her goals gave me a positive, and new perspective.

6 months ago I got on my first real projects at Rumney and yesterday, I battled and struggled.  That is something so hard to swallow that I am not as strong as I was 6 months ago and it is going to be a really slow process back.  This is just the harsh reality of my journey, but I came out yesterday with a fresh, new perspective.

Despite my frustration the past 6 months, one of many reasons the journey is worth it.

Here is what aligned my perspective in the right place.  My best friend went through a super challenging year and half, so hard that my heart hurts every time I think about what she has had to battle.  Climbing is something so dear to her heart and is something that when she engages in it, it helps her heart and soul. Kind of like what climbing does for a lot of us.  She could not engage in much climbing and had to go face-to-face with some serious challenges.  She finally has been able get to a better place and started climbing again and training smart.

My bestie leading something she has had her eye on for a while. Watching her achieve this touched my heart.

Well yesterday she made it a goal to accomplish two things: (1) red point on TR a serious, burly 10c and (2) lead clean a 9+ that she has yearned to do for a few years.  She achieved her goals with so much grace and finesse.  It touched my heart to be there, support her, and witness it. In fact, it touched my heart so much that I forgot all about me and my performance, and so on.  Somehow, all that disappeared and my heart was filled with pure joy for my dear friend.   I realized at that moment that my perspective had to change.  I have to take 10 steps back and re-align my thinking to where my climbing is today, in order to healthily get back to where I was 6 months ago.  The rock is always there waiting for me, why rush to get there at any cost?  I realized I need to throw my ego out the window, and take my time not to send hard again, but to build a climbing journey with grace, finesse and a healthy mind, body and soul.  This is a truly big challenge for a former elite athlete who is highly competitive with herself but totally worth taking on.

The hike to this crag is steep and long, I struggled with my messed up knee, but thankful to realize that I am not immortal & have limits too.

So there you go, a busted finger and knee and having the privilege of watching someone special transform in their journey so gracefully inspired me get a new, healthy perspective.

And here is my journey with many more journals to come along the way!